Negotiating the salary for a new job or promotion can rank as one of life’s biggest stressors. But it doesn’t have to be.

For more than 25 years, William Starner has held executive positions in human resources, customer service, marketing and general management. A former program director for Bentley’s Professional MBA Program and a visiting professor at the Rotterdam School of Management, Starner teaches negotiation to graduate and executive education students at Bentley, and off­ers this advice for your next discussion on pay

Make Peace with Conflict

A negotiation is by de­finition conflict, which people tend to view negatively. But a constructive negotiation isn’t personal, me versus you. It’s about having a dialogue that is robust, open and honest. That means addressing tough issues head-on and being clear about what you want. Avoiding difficult issues by “kicking the can down the road” will only lead to future trouble.

Name a Range, Not a Number 

Giving a single fi­gure sets up a win-lose situation. Suggest a range instead and you’ll have room for discussion. Gather objective market information by networking with people in the industry, getting your hands on salary survey data, and talking with recruiters in the fi­eld, so you can learn what the job is really worth. That way, you’ll know what is reasonable to ask for, and what is reasonable to accept.

Advocate for Your Value

Once you have a range, your job is to position yourself at its top. Do that by differentiating yourself — your particular capabilities, technology background or past projects. The goal is to demonstrate that you possess a unique and valuable skill set and should therefore be valued more highly.

Get Creative

Getting hung up on a single issue like salary can lead to a toxic negotiation. You have to understand what is really of value to the other person, and translate that into something of equal value for you. If the company is not able to meet your base salary, you could discuss myriad other options for compensation, for example, a bonus for signing on or completing projects on time, coverage of relocation expenses, flexibility to work from home, or the ability to attend conferences.

Leverage Other Offers

Some people worry that mentioning another job offer will damage their relationship. But having other offers increases your perceived value and encourages the company to decide more quickly. You can say, “You are my number one choice, but I do have another offer for more. Let’s discuss ways we can close the gap.” Even if you don’t get the full value of the difference, your perceived value will increase, and you might get quicker promotions or better assignments in the future.