Common Signs of Unhealthy Relationships
Your feelings are the first important sign. They are often the first indication that something may not be right in your relationship. Have you experienced any of the following in your relationship?
- Despite efforts to change your relationship, things are not getting better.
- You feel sad, confused, hurt, anxious, or powerless.
- You feel guilty or that you’ve done something wrong.
- You wish that your relationship would change or end but are afraid to take action or end the relationship.
- Someone you trust has expressed concerns about your relationship.
By learning to listen and honor our feelings, we help keep ourselves and others safe. Bentley is a caring community. People are here to help, and you don’t need to figure things out alone.
It might be emotional abuse if your partner:
- Causes you to second guess or question your thoughts, feelings, or decisions, leaving you feeling guilty, confused, or at fault for conflicts.
- Is frequently angry with you, blames you for problems, or causes you to “walk on eggshells” to avoid a conflict.
- Repeatedly apologizes for hurting you, physically or emotionally, but then doesn’t change.
- Wants you to be reachable at all times or doesn’t want you to spend time on your own with friends or family.
- Monitors your emails, texts, or social media accounts, or uses or threatens to use social media to share insults or potentially embarrassing information about you. See below for more information about social media.
- Makes you feel badly about yourself by name calling, insulting, or putting you down.
- Must approve or control your clothing choices, friendships, and how you spend your time.
- Makes threats when you don’t do what they want or if you try to break up with them. Threats can include:
- Threatening to hurt themselves, others, or pets.
- Threatening to break up with you.
- Using a personal crisis to keep you in the relationship.
It might be sexual abuse if your partner:
- Makes you engage in sexual activities when you don’t want to.
- Forces you to participate in types of sexual activity you don’t want to do.
- Hurts your body during sexual activities.
- Does not allow you to practice safe sex or use birth control.
- Treats you like a sex object in private or in public.
It is physical abuse when your partner:
- Threatens violence against you at any time.
- Destroys your property or other property around you (i.e. punching walls).
- Smashes or throws items, even when not directed at you.
- Engages in physical violence of any type, including holding, restraining, scratching, grabbing, and slapping.
Social Media and Relationship Violence
It may be cyber abuse if your partner:
- Sends or shares sexual texts, pictures, or videos for the purpose of embarrassing or hurting you.
- Steals passwords or accesses your private online content without permission.
- Posts negative or embarrassing posts, pictures, or videos about you.
- Threatens to reveal something potentially embarrassing about you online.
Social media content adapted from the Thin Line Campaign.
Cycle of Abuse